She | Kelly Lubbee


While walking between the cupboard and the mirror as I got ready sometime last week, I spent those steps praying and chatting with God. I was telling him all the muddled thoughts in my head and asking questions and at one point in the middle of grabbing my mascara and applying it I found the need to kneel and soak in a revelation from Him.

“You’re not hiding. You’re being hidden. It’s planned, purposeful and peaceful. You’ll have moments out in the front again, but for now, I am keeping you hidden.”

I started to cry as the words softened my spirit. I have been feeling the weight of this for a few weeks, maybe even months now. Wondering where I decided to hide and when. And how do I get out? But then He spoke and made me realise that He is hiding me. In Him I am being hidden. I grabbed a notebook and jotted down the difference – because it’s actually quite a big one.

A season of hiding is a selfish season. One where you have put yourself, away from community, removed and alone. Isolated with your issues and seeking attention from the corners. It’s a result of high-end emotion and struggles. It can be a result of shame through depression, decisions, sin, etc or a result of fear of being known and seen. And the results speak for themselves. People who spend time in hiding, and have chosen to put themselves there, away from God and community will feel fruitless, emotional and desperate for change. In John 15, verse 5 (The Passion Translation) says, “As you live in union with Me as your source, fruitfulness will stream from within you—but when you live separated from Me you are powerless.” You are powerless in hiding. 

On the flip-side, allowing yourself to be hidden in and by Christ, produces huge fruit. Let me unpack what God spoke to me that day – planned, purposeful and peaceful.

1. Planned.  
Seasons of being in hidden are planned (or crafted) by Christ. It’s almost in such a way that it feels like a spontaneous road trip or holiday. Not without it’s challenges along the way – but it is very much ordained by Him. I think back to when Taylor was a newborn and how a lot of new moms can see themselves in this – we feel in those early days like we’re in hiding but yet, God planned that way for us. Not to feel ashamed and scared and hiding away while we figure it out but hidden in Him, seeking Him for grace and love. As we are becoming a source for our little babes, God becomes a new source for us and so abiding in Him as the vine means we will be supplied our every need in those seasons. It’s planned, mama, to be in Him over those first weeks and months.

2. Purposeful.
There is almost always a lesson to be learned in a season of being hidden in Christ. I can only liken it to attending a short course and coming back to the teacher for help on this specific topic/lesson. God will always use those seasons to teach you about something. My current one is what I can title, “Navigating the Noise” – a lesson on life happening around you while you remain still and silent. How to hear God in the chaos of social media, world news and general day-to-day. I am yet to learn it in full and I feel I have fruit to produce from it in the form of creativity and songs. So until then, I am here, being hidden with a purpose.

3. Peaceful.
I laugh at this because life right now feels the furtherest from peaceful. But, when I allow myself to be still with God in this season, I feel His peace wash over me. Just today I arrived home at lunch to become a ball of tears as life again felt too heavy and I let God just be with me and allowed myself to just be with Him. Peace. He is the Prince of it, after all. I feel like life is a ride of ebb and flows but in those moments I am grateful for a kind and caring, gentle and loving Saviour who counsels my spirit. If you are in a season of being hidden, find out how you can keep abiding when you feel a bit unsure. My current ways would include watching Taylor play and listening to her mumble and mutter (I find Christ teaches me a ton in those moments) and taking an evening shower with lights off and a candle on. Nothing like the darkness and silence (in the best ways) to remind me where I am – hidden in Christ.

“Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.” – Col 3:3-4 (The Message)

“Your crucifixion with Christ has severed the tie to this life, and now your true life is hidden away in God in Christ. And as Christ himself is seen for who he really is, who you really are will also be revealed, for you are now one with him in his glory!” – Col 3:3-4 (The Passion Translation)

I truly do believe seasons come and go and there are seasons when you find yourself in the foreground, wondering why everyone is seeking your resources and what you have to share. But there are plenty of these moments too and if we sit resenting them, we’re missing out on our time away with Christ, the Lover of our souls. If you’re in this season, I would urge you to spend more and more time in His word, in prayer and worship and embrace the solitude of the season to find out what He is teaching you. Find new ways to abide and continually return to your hideaway with Him.