She | Kelly Lubbee

Let Him Create

The theme of creativity and creation and creator have been pretty big in my life. It’s definitely how I view and love God, through His creation and how He ignites creativity in us. When I was a kid I loved making stuff! Anything that meant I got to use my hands was a win for me. Whether I was drawing pictures, playing in a world I created inside a simple box or creating crayon food for my teddy bears, I was always making some mess and creating in the process. My one flaw in being a creative, if I am honest, is that I have perfectionist tendencies. If it’s not exactly what I wanted it to be, it’s not really good then in my eyes.

Last night I was praying and I had a strong conviction in my conversation with God. The question came to the forefront of my mind, “Am I the Creator God or am I your created God?” So much truth in one simple question. I worship God, the Creator of all the incredible beauty around me. But I had to be very critical in looking at my own life and I can honestly say that some of the times I spend praying to God have felt like my prayers are me creating Him almost as if I were making a paper maché sculpture who I can talk to and look at. There’s a problem with this though, paper maché or sculptures cannot actually listen to me or do anything for me. In that moment of reflecting on my own efforts of creating God to be for me what I want Him to be, I acknowledged that He is the best and anything I could ever create or imagine Him to be would fall short in my perfectionist ways.

We also need to be aware that our understanding of what God is capable of doing is limited to what we’ve seen or know. But if He is the all creating God then at any moment He can blow us away with something completely new and unseen. But we pray for things based on what we’ve seen happen before and again, we are making our own story as we pray for those things. But if we just left the prayer simple and let God take it and make it something for us, we’d be surprised and in awe time and time again.

The Creator God is real. He is alive, making and doing amazing things around and in us. Right now, I have a whole new revelation of this. For those who already know we are having a baby! Such an amazing and exciting time for us and as I watch the process unfold before me through apps and articles telling me about how he/she is growing and being formed I am in awe of the Creator God! In my body at this very moment I am host to another heart, another brain, another set of body parts… Mind. Blown. And I feel pretty useless at the same time. I am not making this baby. I am not physically moulding and forming him/her. I am not picking out how he/she looks, what they will love and be good at. I am doing nothing! And in that I rest in the reality that God truly “creates their inmost being; He is knitting them together in my womb and they will praise Him because they are fearfully and wonderfully made and His works are truly wonderful!” (Psalm 139:13-14) When we try and create our own reality it will never be the best. God is the ultimate Creator and when we let Him work our story, something beautiful happens.

In this new season I am learning to rest as the Creator does His job to create this incredible gift He has for us. I pray to Him as though He is in charge of this process, and I let go of trying to wish or do anything in my strength. Can I challenge you to take an honest look at your life and how you view God? Do you believe He is within you, around you and creating the story for you or do you believe you’re making it all happen while you pray to your own version of Him for sustenance to do your own work? Is he the Creator God or your own created God?