She | Kelly Lubbee

It’s okay to be okay

There’s a beauty in the moment I find myself in these days. I resonate with the picture of a warrior not just because that’s what my name means but because I feel like my nature is that of a warrior. But why I bring that up is because lately I have been waking up with a sense of satisfaction in the here and now. After all that waiting I felt like we went through and all the battles we faced over the past two years, I keep hearing the words, “the dust is settling”. And with these words I see a picture of myself, in armor in a dry battleground, laying my weapons down about to light a fire and rest. Isn’t it amazing that at a season we seem to be going through, universally there is a resonating with this. Our friend, Nosipho, visited us for a few days this month and on day one of her visit we sat in our lounge with the guitar out and songs strewn upon the floor. We couldn’t wait to share songs we’d written, lyrics and melodies – this is how we can catch up on the past months and years of our lives – through our writing and singing. And simply we know what we’ve all been through in these seasons without much story and speaking. Just sitting, singing, listening. Isn’t that beautiful? Like in the Psalms, through David singing we can know what he was facing and feeling.

That aside, she mentioned a new album by Josh Baldwin, The War is Over. We downloaded this album in the background. Once it was ready to listen to we played a few songs and just soaked in the words. Wow! How could he have known the same feeling I was feeling, the same words swimming around my soul and how could he be singing “the war is over!” and know me? Well that’s because He, the Story-writer of all story-writers knows me and He clearly had a song for many to be singing in this season. The war is over.

In seasons, I feel God gives me something to keep saying and He gives me a picture just like what I shared above. Every morning I wake up, I feel like I don’t have to prepare for war right now. And that is okay. And it is okay to be okay. In a previous blog post I shared about waiting and selah moments. This moment is still a waiting moment but it looks a little different. It looks a little more like victory and freedom. It looks a little bit like rest and creativity. It looks like I am okay. For me, this is a slightly foreign feeling. I am so used to fighting. It’s in me to fight. But there’s a joy in this waiting.

If I can be honest, I feel like people live lives in constant struggles that they don’t have to fight. I so often hear stories of people battling something and I think, “but why?” It seems that these days it’s not okay to be okay. There’s glory in the fight and so people want to keep on fighting. The problem with this is that not everyone is prepared for it and so they fall. Hard. Beaten and bruised and depressed and riddled with anxiety at any small challenge. This looks like pride. Pride to step down and say, “I don’t need to fight this battle and I am going to be okay.” We live a little differently these days. Instead of being easy going and only facing a hardship when it comes, we seek and find the hardship and step right into a battle we don’t need to stand in. Get out of the way, guys! Fight your battles, let yourself rest when it’s over and prepare for the next one. I am in this moment of rest and I am soaking it all in. Allowing it to beat around in my heart and make itself comfortable in me. I want to remember this moment, right here, right now. I want to remember so that when I have to face another trial (because they will come), I can pick up my weapons and go to war well nourished and rested and knowing that I will be okay again.

I challenge you to look around at your current situation and ask yourself, are you fighting a battle that you need to stick out or are you being a warrior for someone else’s battle or a man-made fight? If it’s the latter, put your weapons down, surrender to God and let Him finish the war. Light a fire and let Him show you that it’s okay to be okay.

If you would like to, listen to Josh Baldwin’s The War is Over. It’s so worth it!